SurvivingIndia: Indian traffic for Dummies- a survival guide (Part II)
Part II of the India Traffic for Dummies series. Find Part I here :
6. If you are riding your bike in a new city, without changing your registration numbers, I can write another book on how to avoid cops at trafffic signals noticing you. For lack of space, I will only remark in passing that the essence of the technique revolves around using other vehicles and commuters as shields, to prevent him noticing your number plates.
7. Some Indian youth are known to use the roads as a race track. You don't need to do much except get out of the way. They usually fall down like mosquitos every few kilometres and have to be rushed off to a hospital.
8. If a cop does catch you for any traffic violation, or for nothing in particular, empathise with his household problems. Never argue. Understand what he wants to say- NOT what he is saying.
9. If you wish to cross the road and there are no zebra signals to be seen, it's because Indians don't believe in zebra signals, generally speaking. The whole road is your oyster and you may do what you please. If there are too many vehicles to cross the road, employ the 'stradle' technique. It essentially involves standing at the side of the road with an inch between the vehicle coming from your side (from the left or the right), and moving ahead, AS SOON AS it passes you. You repeat this for all vehicles which come along the way. Hold your hand as a signal for vehicles to stop as an added means of protection.
6. If you are riding your bike in a new city, without changing your registration numbers, I can write another book on how to avoid cops at trafffic signals noticing you. For lack of space, I will only remark in passing that the essence of the technique revolves around using other vehicles and commuters as shields, to prevent him noticing your number plates.
7. Some Indian youth are known to use the roads as a race track. You don't need to do much except get out of the way. They usually fall down like mosquitos every few kilometres and have to be rushed off to a hospital.
8. If a cop does catch you for any traffic violation, or for nothing in particular, empathise with his household problems. Never argue. Understand what he wants to say- NOT what he is saying.
9. If you wish to cross the road and there are no zebra signals to be seen, it's because Indians don't believe in zebra signals, generally speaking. The whole road is your oyster and you may do what you please. If there are too many vehicles to cross the road, employ the 'stradle' technique. It essentially involves standing at the side of the road with an inch between the vehicle coming from your side (from the left or the right), and moving ahead, AS SOON AS it passes you. You repeat this for all vehicles which come along the way. Hold your hand as a signal for vehicles to stop as an added means of protection.
Statutory Caution: This technique can only be practised by expert traffic negotiators AND if the drivers of the oncoming vehicles understand that the 'straddle' is what you have on your mind. Some raving psychotics who dislike the straddle, are known to deliberately drive on your feet.
10. Never park your bike in the middle of the road. I learned this, when we did this to stop a friend who was speeding dangerousy from behind to impress a comely girl riding pillion. The guy damaged his brain, almost lost his life and is now a well known Doctor who treats accident victims (no kidding).
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10. Never park your bike in the middle of the road. I learned this, when we did this to stop a friend who was speeding dangerousy from behind to impress a comely girl riding pillion. The guy damaged his brain, almost lost his life and is now a well known Doctor who treats accident victims (no kidding).
