EtcEtc: Indian traffic for dummies- Part IV
17. Never wear a helmet. Even if you know it might save your brain, your brain asks you why you should be forced to wear some thing, even if its for your safety and revolts against the very thought. 18. If some one antagonizes you, you need not fight him physically. There are other more effective methods of retaliation such as : Revving your old motorbike, car so that every man in the vicinity dies of asphyxiation, including the offender.Honk the hell out of him and if you see him parking his vehicle somewhere, see if its possible to stop and scratch his vehicle's surface with your key or at the very least deflate his vehicles tyres etc.
19. If you find a vehicle not washed,embarrass the owner by writing ' Wash it AT LEAST now' with your finger on the dust on the vehicle.
20. If you ram into some one, run. I leave the choice of your destination (police station or getaway) to you. But do RUN, for godsakes, especially if you are driving a four wheeler! In India, the hiding you get from a irate mob is directly proportional to the cost of your automobile.
21. If you are on the extreme right of a road or on the extreme left, keep no more than a few inches between the divider/footpath and your vehicle. If you give a foot, two wheelers and bicycle riders think of it as a yard and will try and squeeze through,regardless. In doing so, they will inevitably scrape your vehicle and pass you by with a sheepish smile.
22. If you bang a Govt., Police, Military vehicle, sundry politicians...is it really necessary to spell the writing on the wall, you wretched fool? You are history.
You can exact revenge when some one dies/gets injured because of these official vehicles, some other time, and beat the hell out of the bastards. Why do you think the other people who are part of the mob are so enthusiastic about?Such opportunities are rare and granted to only a lucky few, so do well for your motherland.
