Stereotypes of Bengalis, Maharashtrians,Punjabis, Gujaratis....served grilled !
The Bengali: Most Bengalis are in love with themselves and believe passionately in the theory that eating fish heads is what powers their battery. The trouble is that the fish in the Sea of Bengal, looking for revenge, are starting to mutate in a manner that is leading their asses to assume the shape their heads. I shudder to think what would happen to the world when the Bengali continues mouthing 'Intellectual' stuff in a few thousand years, as is his wont now.The Maharashtrian: His name art 'inferiority complex'. He tries to hide it by acting superior, shouting about his glorious heritage three hundred years back and such like. But in this brave new 'baniya' world where the shop keeper is the new warrior, his goose is cooked and what's more- he knows it.
The Punjabi: The Punjabi is India's Amriki, foraying into lands unknown to open the Dhaba and wahe guru di kripa, take over the place. Confidence is his strong suit and he genuinely believes that the civilized (oye,chak de phatte!) world starts in Ludhiana and ends in Chandigarh.Rapacious, noisy animal.
The Gujarati: Together with North Indians, in general, Gujaratis are past masters at hogging public spaces. But his own flourish is evident in the way he dirties it with farsaaan, sewai,dhokla and asssorted snacks.Families are pests as travel companions. Generally industrious when it comes to sitting on his ass at the cash counter for long hours.
South Indian Software techie: The English stinks but he doesn't- thanks to two baths in a day. Software is the new Southern Railways, Bay Area the new Mylapore. The women are smarter (and more articulate) than the men, in general, and they both know it.Appearances are kept outside to save face, but once at home, fear takes over.Fear of god,fear of appa,fear of amma, fear of wife.The only thing he is not afraid of, is fear itself.
Mallu Omnipresent: He can be found everywhere except in his own state,where he is hell bent on harakiri. 100% literate but completely unemployable. Is curiously schizophrenic in terms of twin tendencies of both helping fellow mallus outside the state and also pulling them down, when they try to climb out of the basket. He accomplishes both tasks by joining an union.
The Bihari and the Bhaiyya:Cockroach like survival instinct allows them to survive anywhere. Can get restless if things are working out smoothly without their pushtaini 'jugad' systems. A very common name is Scam Kumar.Has left farming for the fertile fields of IAS, IPS where the 'jugad' is alive and well.
The Aspirant: 'Inadequacy' thy name, Aspirant. Always seeking the Ultra cool, Ultra chic orgasmic moment, but never quite there.
Urban Ultra cool: has figured out sex & computers before he was 5. Likes to portray cool aloofness but is frighteningly ambitious.Sickening power of self control and an ability to say 'no' to temptations, before his CAT,GMAT, GRE exams. His moksha is to be a multi-millionaire and get that ultra-chic chick.
Urban Ultra-Chic Chick: A sub-type of the category above,she can feign a foreign accent at a seconds notice and shed it the next moment,when haggling with the Bhaiyya taxi wallah.Can speak Hindi in a foreign accent if and when needed. Known to scare sophisticates from abroad with her knowledge of what's in- abroad mein ji.Moksha means marriage to a multi-millionaire munda. Her last unfinished business in Chic-land is to appear dignified even on the pot.THAT will be the day, I tell you yaar...
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